Kashmiri People return to valley as Jammu is colder than Kashmir, chillai kalan starts in Jammu
Jammu Colder than Valley
Jammu: History has officially been rewritten. Jammu, long advertised as the winter escape plan for Kashmiris, has decided to betray its reputation and turn into a deep-freeze zone. Meanwhile, Kashmir—yes, that Kashmir—is watching calmly as Chillai Kalan lands in Jammu city.
“Hum ab Kashmir vaapis ja rahe hai. Jammu main Kashmir se zayeda thand pad rahi hai. Meri toh halat kharab ho gyi ahi. Meri toh kulfi jam gyi hai.” ~ Ghulam Ali resident of Anantnag expressing his feelings about chilly winter in Jammu.
“Chillai Kalan (40 days of harsh winter in Kashmir) starts in Jammu and in the valley temperature is not as cold as in Jammu city. I want to request both LG and Jenab Omar Abdullah to declare 2 months winter break in Jammu division as well. Chillai Kalan, it seems, got confused by Google Maps and decided to settle in Jammu this season.” ~ Bittu Gupta a shop owner in Jammu told StupidNews
For years, Jammu proudly played host to winter migrants from Kashmir, offering “mild cold” and “bearable weather.” This season, however, Jammu seems to have mistaken itself for Gulmarg. Morning temperatures bite harder than expectations and heaters are working overtime only to produce emotional warmth.
“After taking IIT and IIM, Jammu has now shamelessly stolen our winter without permission. This is a clear violation of regional rights. We are the original, certified, and undisputed kings of winter in the entire country,” declared Altaf Khan, a resident of Baramulla, accusing Jammu of illegally occupying Kashmir’s cold wave. “If this continues, we will be forced to apply for a Geographical Indication (GI) tag for freezing temperatures.”
Disclaimer: This article is utterly stupid and ridiculous. This is a humorous and satirical piece.
I am so Stupid Software programmer that even compiler rejects to compile my code due to infinite number of Stupid errors. 
